Two women can’t legally marry in Pennsylvania. But Patti Wallech and Julia Martin Wallech did.
Julia, in a pencil skirt and size 11 black pumps, carried a Pennsylvania driver’s license that said she’s a man. “Legally, on paper, we are male and we are female,” Patti said while the two waited in the Dauphin County Courthouse last fall to see whether they would be approved for a marriage license.
Julia was born Vaughn Martin and takes female hormones. She has no plans for gender reassignment surgery, but identifies herself as female, she said. Julia is a collection representative at the Pennsylvania Higher Education Assistance Agency.
Patti was born a biological girl and grew up in Hagerstown, Md., in a “white bread, middle American family” that loves Julia, but doesn’t know she’s transsexual. Patti is a temp worker.
It began online
The couple met online last May, on a transsexual, transgender, transvestite dating Web site.
They were both bookworms and foodies. They corresponded two months, but had never met face to face before Julia moved across the country to live with Patti.
Julia knew she loved Patti within a week of the initial correspondence because of Patti’s “total and unwavering acceptance of who and what I am,” Julia said. Before meeting Patti, everyone Julia dated seemed to have an agenda, viewing her as something exotic, she said.
Patti had dated women before, but not transsexuals, she said. “I was interested in finding the person. I didn’t care male. I didn’t care female. I didn’t care,” Patti said.
“I was more interested in someone with that intellectual interest, world interest,” said Patti. “In the circles I travel in, people are not reading Ayn Rand.”
The two were drawn to each other, they said.
Last fall when they traveled to the courthouse for their marriage license, Julia, 43, and Patti, 39, were conspicuous, two tall women arm in arm.
A clerk told Julia and Patti they wouldn’t be able to marry based on the assumption they were two women, then called an attorney to make sure she gave the right answers. “You don’t do this without expecting a question,” Patti said.
Thomas Gacki, solicitor to the Dauphin County Register of Wills, said the county follows Pennsylvania law, “which requires the marriage be between a man and a woman. It doesn’t matter if somebody has the physical appearance of a woman as long as they are biologically a man.
“We look at a driver’s license just to establish identity,” said Gacki. “This was the first time we had somebody whose appearance was so female. So we had to check.”
Julia didn’t mind the scrutiny her female appearance produced. “Thank you. That was a nice compliment.” Afterward, Patti said, “To their credit, no one made us feel out of place.”
The wedding day
On their Oct. 26 wedding day, both women anticipated the ceremony.
“I’m nervous. It’s a big day to me,” Julia said. Marriage means health benefits, the ability to visit one another in the hospital and a host of other rights.
Patti felt nervous, too, she said. “I want it to be nice for her. I want her to be satisfied and fulfilled with it.”
When District Judge Jayne Duncan entered the chambers, she looked at the two tall women and asked, “How’d you guys get in?”
“I’m genetically male,” Julia said.
“Cool,” Duncan said, explaining that she didn’t want to make them uncomfortable, but she needed to follow the laws of the state.
In the midst of the ceremony, Duncan stopped the proceedings, making Julia spit out her gum before Duncan would proceed.
During the vows, Julia — in heels, a black skirt and a gold twin set — held hands with Patti — in clogs, black slacks and a sweater. At the end, a small kiss, a big hug and discussion about how Julia would go about getting a new Social Security card to change her last name.
Finding a lifeline
Julia grew up in Illinois and a small farming community in Colorado, she said.
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