The Fourth of July week was awesome! With so many events fireworks and parties, it was hard to do them all.
With a heat wave covering the entire East Coast it was hard to get motivated to do anything. But when a friend invited me to a pool party on Sunday, I just had to say yes.
To most people that would not be a problem but for me this presented a challenge. My good friend and his partner know me very well, so we have no secrets. They are openly gay, and when I asked, they said that the party would be a mix of people, gay, lesbian, straight.
So first I asked, with anticipation, if it would be OK for me to come as Danielle. I was delighted when they said "sure, of course." I had visions of myself laying poolside in blissful tranquility, like Audrey Hepburn (see photo above).
Then fear struck me: Oh My God!, could I do this?
With the changes I have had to my appearence in recent months, I could not wear trunks and a T-Shirt. The challenge was I have never worn a female bathing suit before, nor did I own one!
The next day I started to panic with "what to wear"?
Over many years I have been working on my weight and figure. With summer I was struggling to get to where I wanted to be and wear a nice swimsuit. Well now I had to go for it. Shopping time!
Shopping was both fun and frustrating as most women will tell you. Now I know why girls have so much trouble finding the right swimsuit. I went to 4 or 5 places and couldn’t find the right mix. Finally I went to a department store with a huge selection and found what I wanted. Wow how come swimsuits are so expensive? Ladies it is crazy what they want for so little.
I get home and try on the suit and suddenly realize: What about my feet? I don’t have any sandals! Oh crap; so another trip, this time to Whitehouse Black Market. I find some sandals on sale! Twenty bucks and I’m done, well maybe a hat? No I’m done. I am a fool for fashion because it makes me confident, my wife hates me for that and gets on my case all the time but that is my style -- deal with it!
When the day of the party comes; which I have been dying for, I am like a little girl. I’m worried about what makeup will work in the heat and my hair and how my suit will look. Simple makeup is a must in the heat and it better be water resistant. Fortunately my Trish McEvoy lady took care of me some time ago with some water repellant eye shadow and eye liner, and with similar mascara I was good to go.
I am fair skinned so usually my skin goes from blue to pink (I burn easy) in a short time. So I take great pains to protect my skin. I use a good non-oily sun protection everywhere. I know I am driving my wife crazy getting ready, but this time she is a good sport. So we have everything for the party, towels, sunglasses, lots of sunscreen and healthy food for others.
When we arrive at our friends Highpoint home, we are greeted and given a tour of the many changes they have done to the pool area. Absolutely amazing! Themed after Disney décor, it looked better than many small resorts I have seen. Suitable for clothing-optional-bathing -- with a view that is overlooking the Indian River (hence the name Highpoint) -- it is breathtaking!
As the other guests arrive, it was wonderful! A diverse crowd that we have met before at various Christmas parties. But this time I was as Danielle. Other than a few of my closer firends, not one person recognized me.
I thought that was pretty funny, and for those that are worried about being recognized when out and about, it should put you at ease.
With a clear sky and lovely breeze, I just took a little time to lie in the sun. While lying there it suddenly occurred to me how relaxed I was. This was a moment of joy. I truly felt complete and happy with everyone around me; it was a real environment of acceptance.
The remainder of the day was cooling down in the pool, enjoying simple food, and great conversation with people from all walks of life. The subject of me being TG came up only once -- from my friend who thought I was CD. I explained that I was Transgender, and what that meant, and they were happy to understand that.
It is interesting how much we all have in common. Talking with many people there, it was so wonderful to see we are not alone and that we are so connected. We have the same goal to just live our lives the way we want, free of prejudice.
What a wonderful time we had. It might have been missed if I didn’t break the chains that were pulling to hold me back. As I evolve I realize how important it is to be connected, participate and be out there with others.