“Yes, ma’am”

I should say at this time, I am not dressed as a girl. I am dressed as a regular guy in jeans, sweatshirt, and leather jacket – nothing at all to indicate that I am female. And it doesn’t just happen when I am alone either. Whenever I am with my mother or any number of female friends, we always seem to get “Hello ladies”, or some other remark or statement indicating that all of us in our group are women.

Afterwards, I get weird looks from the ladies as to why I did not want to correct the person making the remark. I respond that it really doesn’t matter to me. I am usually of the opinion that people can say what they want as long as no one is getting hurt. But to be perfectly honest, secretly, I like it when I am mistaken for a woman – even when I am dressed as a guy.

So, why does this keep happening? My guess is that there are a number of reasons, most of which seem to be coincidental. However, one reason seems to make a huge difference in all of this, although it is completely unintentional and incidental: I am a Transgendered Woman. Yes, that’s correct. Although I was born and live in a male body, I ultimately consider myself female with a female soul. Constantly being mistaken for a woman (especially in DRAB) provides a real ego boost for me.

Although I am not currently dressed in female clothing, apparently I seem to be giving the appearance that I am female – a lot. But I am still puzzled why I keep being mistaken for female. My current circumstances do not allow me to dress and express myself full time as a female as I desperately need to, so I must lead a secret life, a second life – a half-life – a life not yet fulfilled – however you wish to call it. But the question remains why so many people seem to mistake me for female. When I am in DRAB (dressed as a BOY), I am usually able to keep myself in close check and watch how I express myself; meaning my mannerisms, hand gestures, the way I stand and walk, etc. When in DRAB, I do not act female, nor do I speak in a female voice.

About a year ago, I began laser treatment to remove my heavy beard. I am fifty-one years of age and my hair and beard are still jet black. Earlier on in my life after shaving, there was always evidence of a beard and I was never really able to “pass” when I dressed in feminine clothing – dresses, pretty blouses, hosiery, heels, etc. I always got ‘clocked’ – meaning anyone could easily tell I was a guy wearing female clothes. Even if my makeup was flawless, my hair done perfect, and everything else picture-perfect, that five o’clock shadow was always present and ruined everything. Now, with most of my beard removed, I am pretty sure that this is one of the reasons why I keep being mistaken for female. The beard is now almost entirely gone, leaving my face and neck almost completely hair free. My skin is very smooth without any traces of that aggravating and annoying five o’clock shadow. Even after a close shave, most men always have some sort of evidence of a five o’clock shadow. It is no longer the case with me.

But that is not all. Although I cannot dress full time, it doesn’t erase the fact that I have long flowing hair which I have been growing for a few years now. It is now long past shoulder length and is shiny and very healthy. Normally, I just pull it back into a ponytail, a practice perfectly acceptable by todays’ society. Although my hairline is getting higher and higher on my forehead and it is getting thinner on top of my head, a characteristic of most middle-aged men, most people that I run into all seem to be making the same mistake. It’s not like I am running around with my hair perfectly styled to suit any female. What sets me apart from any other long haired man is the keen absence of any beard shadow.

Now that I have explained why I often get mistaken for female in (DRAB), I feel the need to delve into something else; an exact opposite, almost peculiar situation, but quite normal for most dressers. As I mentioned earlier, I am a Transgendered Woman. Though I was born in a male body, I have for all my life felt the deep-rooted need to dress, express, and live as female. There have been many occasions when I was able to express myself and dress as female. My personal preference for presenting female includes wearing retro 1940’s style dresses with petticoats and crinoline, hosiery with the seams running up the back of the legs, and of course, high heeled shoes. All of these elements are very basic so I always accentuate my look with plenty of jewelry such as chains, bracelets, and hooped ear rings. My own long, lovely, hair, (my crowning glory, as I like to put it,) is always styled in a very demure and modest manner – nothing too outrageous, but always accessorized with a pretty but simple hair pin or other ornamentation.

For the longest time, dressed as the gender of my choice, I have been comfortable enough to go out in public by myself and “mingle”. I am fearless and I think nothing of going out to a restaurant to dine or to out to a club to dance. I know I look really good. I have a rather thin waistline and my rear end is firm and tight – the result of hours on the stair machine at the gym and an endless number of sit ups. Although I am 51 years of age, these practices along with a good diet have allowed me to maintain a healthy lifestyle, AND a healthy body. My body frame is small and petite, much like a woman. I have my female mannerisms and my female voice down very well. I know how women gesture, how they stand, walk, and how they communicate. I feel my presentation is complete. So, here is another serious question – If I have my presentation down, why do I keep getting “CLOCKED”?

This is my quandary – When I am in DRAB, (dressed as a BOY), I am mistaken for female. However, when I am in DRAG, (dressed as a GIRL), I get “Clocked” – that is, anyone can tell I am just a guy in a dress.

It is a very irregular situation, to say the least. Now, I know I often get mistaken for female because I get “Yes, ma’am” – A LOT. Could it just be my imagination that I get “clocked” when I am presenting female?

My normal female presentation includes the retro 1940’s fashion, and I KNOW women do not normally dress this way, even if it is for a special occasion. Still, it could be that people are not used to seeing these types of retro fashions and that this is what is really getting their attention. The fact that there is a male wearing the fashion could entirely be incidental. Either way, I feel that this is a very interesting situation to be in. Who else can say they are constantly being mistaken for the opposite sex, even when presenting as the opposite sex? Really? You could go crazy if you think about it enough. Don’t get me wrong, I am not ill at ease with this. I am a strong, confident Transgendered Woman and I do not care if I get “clocked”, nor do I care if others are too busy to really see what is really in front of them. I need to live my life as I see fit. I am destined to take this journey and I am purchasing a first class ticke